Things We Think We Think #303

TWTWT

1. Eight days after 2017/18 sidled to its conclusion, the overriding emotion remains relief. It’s a sentiment that’s two-fold. Relief, of course, that the season ended with City avoiding a relegation that (for a time) seemed quite possible. As Nigel Adkins turned Leonid Slutsky’s free-scoring chaos-merchants into grimly dull loss-accumulators, the fate that was befalling Sunderland appeared ours too. It’s scandalous for a side with the distorting benefits of parachute payments to be anywhere near relegation, and this season will be remembered, if at all, as being an atrocious one. But it could have been worse.

2. Therefore, our relief is also for it being over. Never mind the occasional highs – pulverising Birmingham in September, the customary win at Nottingham Forest, the 0-5 and 5-5 insanity of April – this was mostly a season of gruelling inadequacy laced with regular off-field malice. 2017/18, goodbye and good riddance.

3. We said farewell with a 1-1 draw at Brentford that was actually one of the better days of the season. A hot day, a proper terrace, affable surroundings and a non-defeat all made for a better send-off than the campaign as a whole probably deserved. And it was a useful reminder that whatever else the Allam family are stripping away from the club, our fundamental spirit remains. Seeing City fans cavorting on the Griffin Park concrete well after the final whistle was an uplifting experience to take into the summer.

4. Already, the exodus begins. We’re fortunate that in the Allams we have owners who know better than to treat employees correctly and persuade them to sign new contracts; and so, another summer in which the first team – not that great to start with – is dismantled. Nigel Adkins is making brave little noises about doing our business early, but that won’t happen. We’ll sell or release anyone who’s any good or who may have the temerity to request a wage befitting their skill and experience, and stuff the squad half-full of mediocre loanees in late August. There’s no point in pretending anything else will happen – it’s the Ehab Allam way, and just because it’s pathetically failed twice doesn’t mean he’s anywhere near bright enough to have spotted a pattern yet.

5. As we’ve already touched upon, it isn’t a great first team that’s been dismantled, though it’ll probably end up being better than what replaces it. But among those leaving is a genuine star of the past decade, and someone who deserves to be recalled fondly in years to come: David Meyler. Long-term possessor of a few obstinate detractors, he won everyone over towards the end of his time here, and participated in so many of the famous achievements in our recent past. A player of unswerving committment, under-rated ability and unerring courage, he’ll be greatly missed. Thanks for everything David, and best of luck for the future.

6. It isn’t just first teamers going – as always at this time of year, youth team players judged not to have made the grade are being released. That’s always pretty sad, and we hope that as many of them as possible make it elsewhere. However, it was galling to see a common thread running throughout the departing comments of so many early 20s players: that they were never given enough time on the pitch to prove themselves. It’s understandable that opportunities in City’s first team have been limited given our recent Premier League past, but why were so few sent on loan instead of being abandoned in the U23s? Now past the first flush of youth, they’re having to find new clubs with younger prospects already coming up behind them and virtually no first team experience on their CVs. That’s epic, tragic mismanagement.

7. The club is going to meet with the FSF and SD over concessions. We hope those two fine organisations are ready for the full technicolour horror of meeting an Allam, because even though they’ve been extensively warned, there’s nothing like the real thing to make you realise just how unqualified they are to run a football club. Meanwhile, City continue to haemorrhage members and we still no fixed prices for next season.

8. A new crest! That we get a say in! You can see why this looks superficially good. However, the mechanism for selecting it is ridiculous. Phase 1 (yes, there are phases) requires fans to choose other fans, who’ll then sit alongside “community voices” and “influencers”. The issues are so widespread here we’re staggered (or perhaps not) that no-one’s thought of them. But just in case they haven’t: “community voices” doesn’t even require one to be a City fan. Therefore, some Leeds or rugby supporting bell-end could actually end up having a say on our future crest. And that won’t end well. As for “influencers”, the club has managed to alienate pretty much all of them anyway, from ex-players to local media. So, that’s phase 1, with fan nominations, non-City fans and uninfluential influencers, all to be revealed on (naturally) an unspecified date. So far, so shit.

9. Phase 2. Another sodding vote, on “crest elements”. Presumably they’ll be shortlisted by either Ehab or whichever stooge is doing his bidding at the moment, in order to avoid anything remotely good. Then we can choose a tiger (seriously). Then the “creative panel” will meet twice with the club to decide things, which appears to arm Ehab with a right of veto anyway in case the whole pointlessly torturous process has resulted in anything non-terrible someone sneaking through. And good designs don’t happen by committee anyway. Then there’ll be a BIG REVEAL at another unspecified date next year…all announced on a page that finishes up by calling us Hull City Tigers. What a joke.

10. That’s us done for a bit. We’ll pop up occasionally during the summer, chiefly to despair about whatever idiocy that family inflicts upon us next, but like you, we need a break from the whole circus. Enjoy the World Cup, the summer’s cricket and whatever else it is you do away from City, thanks for the comments/criticism/insults/reading/listening to our exasperated output, and we’ll see you in August.

10a. Allam Out.

18 replies
  1. Evie
    Evie says:

    Thanks for telling it like it is as always guys. It’s been a rotten season for you and I for one will miss these little bulletins and anecdotes.

  2. Mark
    Mark says:

    Well done guys and thanks for the sometimes hilarious input into what has been a season of squandered opportunity, from start to finish. Anyone who has any doubt about what the Allams intend for this club (and there surely can’t be any of those left) need only look at their MO for the last 2 summer transfer windows. The sooner these “robber barons” (check the definition, it’s scarily accurate) sod off, which will, I hope, be sooner rather than later, the better, and we can return to being a stable, enjoyable club once more.

  3. Michael Coates
    Michael Coates says:

    What do you mean “unqualified to run a football club” nay lads surely they some how ticked the boxes at the time, of buying the club.
    It’s just that their “ideas” are shite.
    Seriously good article again, have a rest.
    As you say, we know what’s going to happen but Adkins is going to soon find out!! Re Hull citys policy on bringing players in.

  4. Graham Wilkinson
    Graham Wilkinson says:

    Thanks for your analysis throughout the season. I can’t recall any part of TWTWT that I have disagreed with. I put that down to the fact that you’re proper City supporters. If the Allams want to know what City supports prefer and what will improve the club they could do worse than follow TWTWT. They might just stand half a chance of turning abject failure into something more positive. But better still they could sell up and go and like thousands of other fans we can then feel able to return to the Circle. Enjoy the summer lads and thanks again.

  5. Terry Pearson
    Terry Pearson says:

    Have a well earned break I will miss the TWTWT and the weekly podcast. I am hoping that you start the next one with “Hull City has been sold” or is that just wishful thinking? All the clubs that have new owners and the Allams can’t find a buyer. They really don’t want to sell

  6. HempholmeTigers
    HempholmeTigers says:

    They really don’t want to sell because they haven’t squeezed every last possible penny out of the club yet. My contempt for them could not be any greater. Relinquished membership – shall watch/listen (not on Humberside with Burnsy & Swanny unfortunately – another malicious Allam swipe) from a distance. And wait until the day they finally, finally go.
    Thanks guys for your brilliant weekly commentary. Enjoy your break.

  7. Blackadder
    Blackadder says:

    Things We Think etc is always a candle in the darkness surrounding Hull City, and a welcome place to vent our frustrations with the owners. They had more than one chance to sell up while we were in the Premier League but instead chose to hold on and rake in as much cash as they could from player sales, the promotion windfall and parachute payments. Hence our present position in 18th place in the Championship and a squad that’s been hacked to pieces and will soon be shorn of talent like Bowen, McGregor, Hernandez et al. I’m dreading next season and things can always get worse with Ehab Allam at the helm. I wish there was something positive I could think of but nothing comes to mind.

  8. Phil Rudderforth
    Phil Rudderforth says:

    Absurd doesn’t even start to describe it – my phrase would be “Calculatedly Bysantine”.

  9. Paul B
    Paul B says:

    You can get 13/2 at SkyBet for City to be relegated next season. That looks like pretty generous odds at the moment. They are sure to fall when it becomes clear this summer will be no different to the previous two.

  10. Bill Carson
    Bill Carson says:

    Thanks for the excellent reports lads.
    Pretty much sums up why, after 42 years supporting City, home and away, I have cancelled our memberships.
    No prices, player sell offs, identity stripping and a total disconnect with the fans.
    And yet, only an idiot would keep repeat his mistakes!
    We would all keep McGregor, Meyler, Larsson, Moses, Abeland Dawson (even if in a coaching capacity) and yet these will be ungraciously shown the door.
    Not even with a final day send off!
    I’ll travel to a few away games but I won’t be back at the Circle until we have radical change!
    #UTT #PowertothePeople #FishOutDolanOut #AskEhab

  11. Syd
    Syd says:

    Have a great summer folks, and thank you again for taking the time to put into actual text how so many of us feel. It does make it slightly less depressing to realise our views are being put out there. Eleven weeks to our next Groundhog Day of a season… Allam out.

  12. gjhdurham
    gjhdurham says:

    Re point 6: Been thinking on this for a few weeks, since it became obvious Meyler was out. The young lads have been unfortunate in that City have been in promotion or relegation battles for several years, and the managers involved haven’t had the guts to feed a few of them into the team. Of course, this can go wrong…Cooper at Liverpool and Tymon v Spurs. However, you’d think that when …for example…Luer scores 4 in two games a place on the bench would be a reward. We had Clackstone sitting there for game after game, while we brought on the Chelsea youth for them! It’s not as though the chosen team have set the world alight, and by all accounts the young players gave their all at Doncaster. We could have done with more effort and enthusiasm at times! City have seldom got this right. The last time we had a decent batch coming through was just at the end of the Waggy era. There’s about half a dozen this year who can feel let down.
    As mentioned somewhere, I suspect Hector will be a target in the summer. Whether NA can get more consistency out of him remains to be seen. The 5-5 at Bristol shows weakness in midfield and defence. As it stands there is no defence for next year. Midfield could be OK, if NA can get consistency from Toral and find out if Stewart can play football. We have too many sick notes, and have had since we first went PL. Evandro and Mazuch are useful players if fit! Not convinced by Henricksen and would like more bite in mf for this division!
    Weakening the attacking force…the only good bit of the side…would not be sensible, unless the defensive aspects become more coached and defined. However, we know what to expect. Leaving things to the last minute is part of this ongoing problem. God help us….!

  13. Brian Darvell
    Brian Darvell says:

    Ignominy,Ignominy the Allams have perfected Ignominy! ( with apologies to Kenneth Williams) Seriously another great write up for yet another season of fraud and duplicity from the main men.Is there a saviour on the horizon,I don’t think so.Their retribution against the council will reach its conclusion it’s just a question of how long.

  14. Bill Baxter
    Bill Baxter says:

    Sad (but inevitable) that I’ve never heard so many people saying they have cancelled their memberships/passes for next season.
    Most of them long term supporters who have been going for donkeys years.

    Be interesting to see what the attendance will be for City’s first game without the Allams as owners, I’m guessing it will be a full house.

  15. ann guy
    ann guy says:

    And I for one will be there Bill, providing I can get a ticket, there will be a huge demand on that joyful day. Thanks AN for keeping me in touch since I relinquished my season pass in disgust two years ago. I live in hope . Enjoy your summer.

  16. Bill Carson
    Bill Carson says:

    I too will be straight back when this lunacy ends.
    Not convinced by Adkins either. Yes we had a few Harlem Globetrotting weeks but this masked the tedious, monotonous, boring, tripe he offered up before.
    As much I don’t like Vile A I am delighted for Steve Bruce and James Chester, reaching Wembley again!
    #Groundhog Day
    #Onlyanidiotwouldrepeatthesamemistakes

  17. John from Brid
    John from Brid says:

    I aren’t cancelling my membership, I will continue to be there for all home games I can get to, the manager,the players are of no concern to me, The football offered up will be accepted and I will try to find good in it no matter how poor it is, but Allams just get the fuck out of Hull City Football Club ASAP. Mad maybe, I haven’t got a certificate to say I am sane, COMEONUUUULLLL!!

  18. Cayman Tiger
    Cayman Tiger says:

    Thanks Lads for another season of being a beacon in a fog of deceit and downright chicanery.

    And once again congrats on your Podcast of the Year award – that really was impressive.

    #AllamOut

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