TATWATCH – Fake City shirt


Unofficial. Available from: Ebay. Price £11.13 inc. postage

This is simultaneously the greatest, and worst, piece of City tat ever. Ever.

There is nothing good about fake football shirts in general, of course, let me make that abundantly clear. No matter how well made they are, or how accurately they mimic the real thing, they are jenk, and worn by pogomeffs. But that Hull City’s stature among the footballing pantheon has grown to the point that somewhere on another continent, someone figures they can make money creating and selling fake City shirts, is a great thing. It’s the reasoning behind it’s very existence that is great, not the shirt itself, because judged on that basis it is dogtod on toast.

Some real care has been taken to replicate City’s crest, and some of the detailing on this jersey isn’t a bad approximation of Umbro’s work either, such as the pinstripe diamond motif on the sleeves, or the mesh ventilation panels under the arms. But the colour…what the hell? Ignorant television commentators will often irritatingly describe our colours as orange and black (they’re open to correctly calling Wolves’ tone ‘old gold’ though, the basts), and it seems the colour blind chap who chose the material’s shade took the commentator literally.

If you turned your TV’s colour setting up to maximum and watched a Phil Brown press conference, he still wouldn’t be this orange, and I’m guessing this along with Kia-Ora, is what constitutes ‘too orangey for crows’. Amusingly the necktag features the amended Premier League crest as worn on the shirts of the league champions, fitting for a team who finished 17th! Err…

Tod rating…

1 reply
  1. Mark
    Mark says:

    These shirts (or very similar) are on sale in a shop near the Vic Market in Melbourne for $12.00 AUS (about 6 Pounds GB), only I don’t think they are as good as the ones pictured above…same bight orange though….unbelievable!!!

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