Wednesday 18th December 2002

Hull City kick off life at their new stadium with a bit of a bash. Bagpipes, novelty oversize keys, that Pippa bint, a hoarse Gift, Land of Hope and Glory, Sarah Whatmore executing Cruyff turns to show each stand her arse, and a musical firework display that played football chants with explosions! There was a game of football in there too, City pulling off a 1-0 against the Mackems to claim the Raich Carter trophy, presented by the Silver Maestro’s son. Right, so now we’ve got the fans, the chairman, the stadium, the manager, all we need now is a winning team and Tiger World Domination is ready to roll. Watch out Russia and USA, Peo is gonna snaffle your submarines.

Pictures by Dan Westwell.

Look at those curves! The KC Stadium is sex in concrete and steel

Roland apologises to Jonny again as early punters witness live cannibalism

What do you need to wear skirts and squeeze sacs? A big puff

A young lass demonstrates City’s new fitness routine…

…err, that’s not quite right lads.

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire as the teams emerge.

The lads and local dignitaries line up for a photo op.

Gary Alexander can’t believe he’s missed from close range.

Get in son! Melton rounds the keeper to score…

Steve looks bemused as a BP nostalgic joyfully swings a Kwik Save carrier.

The rest of the lads just celebrate

Ruddy cheeked Irishman Damien Delaney foils Marcus Stewart

Fishlips busts a move to beat Emerson Thome to the ball.

John Anderson gives chase to nippy French forward David Bellion.

Half Time…Sarah Whatmore entertains those not having a fag/piss/pie

The Cruyff turning songstress shows off her best features.

Peo cops an eyeful and considers signing her up on a season long loan.

In a dull 2nd half, Tiger Nationals entertain themselves making paper planes.

Full time, and City make a winning start!

Elvis makes people leave the building.