Green With Envy

It isn’t difficult finding reasons to mock Scunthorpe, especially when their fans are so accommodating as to supply you with new ones. Take Steve Wright for example, no not the Radio 2 DJ, but the producer of an Internet site dedicated to the Scunts. After watching Euro 2000 he hatched a plan to have Scunny fans emulate the thousands of Dutch fans clad from head to toe in orange (or oranje if you will).

Wright figured he might be able to persuade the ‘legions’ of Scunny fans (average attendance 3,593) to all don either the clubs garish new lime green away shirt or other green garb.

Speaking in his local rag, the spotty 18 year old from Bottesford (I think that’s a place, but it may be a sexual preference) declared “As we have just been relegated everyone, club and fans, want a quick return to division two and to kick-start our season we will have to win away at Macclesfield.

To help do that the fans can create a fantastic atmosphere in the away end, and it would inspire the players to play and the fans to sing if the away end was a sea of green.”

A sea of green? The yellowbellied fool seems to have overlooked that the reason the Holland fans look impressive is because there are lots of them, and that while 50000 people at the ArenA in Amsterdam or at De Kuip in Rotterdam bedecked in orange ensemble looks fantastic, 17 people at Gay Meadow and Spotland wearing green does not.

The Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph, clearly desperate for stories that day, continued… ’Steve is hoping the campaign will catch on and wants all fans to play their part, whether they have the new away shirt or not. He’s encouraging supporters to wear anything green, take green balloons and green paper to add to the occasion.’

Eager for a bit of publicity, the club’s commercial department latched onto the scheme and trotted out the old ‘sales of shirts are at record levels’ line, i.e. they sold 150 of them.

And so the season began, the Scunts notching up three points with a 1-0 win at Moss Rose, and there in the away end were people clad in green. But as viewers of Goals on Sunday that weekend will testify, it wasn’t quite a ‘sea of green’, more a small pond, or even a puddle. Fuckwits.

Les Motherby